Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Reconsidering publication... maybe

Times are hard. I need to get my ass in gear and start subbing some work out. I really need to.

I'm not sure if I will... yet.

I feel like I'm grasping at straws. The horror magazines I know of probably wouldn't take my hack work. I need a paying market. I think my work is worth less than any paying market will offer.

What to do?

Fuck if I know.

I've never published before. I say it a lot, but I'm not ashamed of being unpublished. It's even in my blog title. You know what you get when you get here. Not a pro, not even semi-pro. Not even sure of myself.

Maybe that's the problem.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, well, I'm talking about being scared. Should I be scared? Yes, I should.

I have an acquaintance on a WD who is a published author. He recently told me that enjoys reading my work. That's quite a compliment.

I have another friend who also enjoys my work. (She's read my novels and several shorter works) She is an unpublished writer as well. She tells me I have natural talent.

And yet another on AW who wrote a story because mine gave her a spark. That's something I felt very touched by. It's usually only published authors who give that kind of inspiration to a reader.

I'd like to believe these people... but I can't.

I've been told by another that my work was unprofessional, not suitable for any paying venue anywhere, and that my writing construction was terribly amateurish. This, all from one person. And for the life of me, I can't get her comments out of my head. It makes me hesitate.

Why?

Because I feel that my writing isn't suitable for a paying venue. I feel that it's unprofessional and amateurish. And I don't know how to fix that. Because I really do feel that way.

So, I'm thinking about a venture out. I might try to shop some of my short stories around. If no one wants them, then I'll have my answer. I'll know what I need to do.

Learn.

Peace and love, y'all
~E.

5 comments:

  1. I just wanted to say that I believe everyone doubts their skill. Everyone. I want to think I am good, but am I?

    I figure I will write for myself for as long as it makes me happy. I look forward to finishing my first novel by June, and if doesn't sell - it doesn't sell... I have another one on the way to keep me busy.

    *hugs* Hang in there.

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  2. Aww. Thanks. I'm not ever giving up. If I stop writing, I'll die. That's how important my work is to me. It's easy to get dejected and I try not to, but there are just those times when I tell myself "What do you think you're doing? You're not a writer, for god's sake. You're just a mom who thinks she can." Those are the times i kick myself in the ass, too, though. :)

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  3. I've only been published once and I can assure you...
    1. It will feel great when you do get published.
    2. Keep plugging away. You'll get there.

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  4. Thanks Jim. :) Stop by again. I'm sarcastic and cynical, but beyond that, not a bad person. Thanks for the visit.

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  5. Bruce Willis, speaking of his days as a struggling actor, once said that self-motivation was the hardest thing in the world to maintain when no one is telling you that you’re any good, and that it never got any easier for him, exiting auditions for jobs he didn’t get, only to look at the long line of faces of other eager, hopeful actors awaiting their chance to impress someone. He would look at them and think, “Is that what I looked like, standing there?”

    But now he’s Bruce Willis, Famous Actor Guy, because he kept going to those auditions, and he kept working to improve his craft.

    The struggle is invisible. The success is not.

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