Monday, January 10, 2011

Spotlight Weird: 6 Sentences

Well, it's been a while since I did a Spotlight Weird piece. I have no excuses to give.

However, during my busyness I came across this wonderful little publication right here on Blogspot called 6 Sentences. 6S has stories only one paragraph long. At first I was merely intrigued, but after reading some of the pieces, I just kept reading... and reading... and reading. There's really no way to stop once you start.

Basically, every story is only six sentences long. These are very quick reads (for the most part... however there were a couple of them that were a bit verbose) and many are entertaining as hell.

Not all are actual stories... some seem to just be random thoughts, but even these are interesting. Basically, what have you got to lose? It's only six little sentences. Go on, read a couple. Or a lot. Or all of them.

You might not ever stop.

Peace & Love
~Effie

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Multiple Musings and Other Random BS

It's a new year, the holidays are done, and the children have returned to school after winter break. We had a fabulous Christmas, there were tons of packages under our tree. It was slightly ridiculous.

Okay, it was highly ridiculous.

But it was so fun.

Now, I find myself writing a lot of thriller/suspense and contemporary fantasy tales of recent. This is not a bad thing, and yes I do still write horror - it is my first love after all - but this thriller/suspense and fantasy kick has me wondering.

Perhaps some of my "horror" tales are not horror at all. They horrify me, but then again, I'm afraid to walk past a window with undrawn shades after dark so that doesn't mean much. And in fact, I frighten myself far more often than any story I've read, any movie I have watched.

I will admit though that this hardcore horror lover-girl is excited to see "The Rite". Anthony Hopkins is a so-good-it's-almost-stupid talented actor. And him in horror? Gimme, gimme. I'm hoping to be scared.

Then again, I also hoped for that with "The Last Exorcism" and was sadly disappointed. Oh, I was plenty startled by that one in spots, but overall... no lasting impression. I like my horror to scare me for months afterward.

Sadly, I haven't had that for a looooooong time.

Also, I have a story out - "The Cat Lady" over at SNM Horror Magazine in issue 1 of the January Jambalaya Issue. (clickable)

And January also marks the start of the Shock Totem Magazine's (clickable) bimonthly Flash Fiction contest (another clickable). This month's contest is already under way, but you can try to rush for it if you want, or wait until the March contest kicks off. You'll have to sign up for the forum and follow the rules (which means you have to READ them), sign up in the thread linked in the contest bit above, and check out the prompt. Shock Totem also reopens to regular submissions on February 1, 2011, so make sure you have something ready for them.

Make it something about a box. Ken would just love that.

All right, so that's it for now. I hope everyone has had a great start to 2011.

Peace & Love
~Effie

Monday, November 15, 2010

American Dog - A Reflection on Dogs and the Media

Dogs are the best friends of men? A boy and his dog? We take them as pets, we love them, feed them, give them shelter. Their lives are in our hands.

As a dog owner, I get weepy when I see those darned ASPCA commercials. You know the ones I mean. Labs stuffed into overrunning cages, poodles half starved and covered with mange. Those commercials are emotional. It's horrible what we do to our charges.

Speaking of television, let's think about another little something you may have possibly seen. Flashing ambulance lights and hysteric people. Little Jimmy Doe from two towns over was attacked by two dogs.

When you see the news next, it's reported that Jimmy is now in stable condition and the two snarling pit bulls have been picked up by the local humane society or dog pound.

Now let me paint you a picture that you don't see on the news or any television special.

Big man doesn't just want any dog, he wants one he knows people fear on sight. So he goes to this guy whose name he heard through the grapevine or read in the local trading journal. Big man takes a look at what's offered, but of course he only wants the biggest of the litter. Money is exchanged, sometimes authenticity of breed papers, and Big man goes home with a sweet, cuddly little puppy. But puppy is raised in one lone room of the house, shouted at for approaching outsiders other than those it shares the house with; praised when it snarls or growls at strangers.

Yes, dog is a man's best friend, but that doesn't mean it should only have one friend.

Here's another picture you won't see on the news.

Little man's been raising dogs for years. The new round of pups is going into training, over thirty in all. They're given growth hormone shots, fed massive amounts of dog food daily, weights attached to their legs as they run, tires (one, sometimes two and three and four) tied to their chains when they are outside. Then one day they are left hungry, and the next day... and the next. Then, in a small area out back, little man throws two of the pups together with a piece of meat. They fight, not until death but just until one eats. Both are praised, given treats. This becomes part of their weekly training. Eventually fighting another dog becomes natural to them.

That doesn't mean it is their nature.

My friend and fellow horror writer, Damien Walter Grintalis, has recently posted this Quiet Plea to Writers on Behalf of Her Dogs, and I echo that plea. For far too long has the media (and that means all media... news, music, art) portrayed the American Pit Bull Terrier as some ferocious and uncontrollable beast that preys on mankind whenever given a chance. Most of these dogs you see are not the standard of the breed. It was indeed not even two decades ago that Spudz McKenzie was the most well known pit bull in the country. And well loved. The Budweiser dog was t-shirt famous.

I own pit bulls... I rescue pits when I can manage to. Damien is a pit bull owner and if I'm not mistaken, both her pits are rescues as well. We know that these dogs are gentle and loving and loyal pets. We know they can live alongside other dogs in happiness with nothing more than the general dog squabble that happens with any breed of dog if there are more than one in residence.

I'm asking that we change the standard. What these dogs get from the general public is fear. They don't ask for it... it's their standard. And they don't fucking deserve it.

One final note: Read Damien's post. Read this one. Know that you're hearing from better experts than Suzie Day on Channel 9. We own these dogs. I own these dogs still, even after my daughter was attacked by a dog of the very same breed two years ago on Halloween. Because I know that anything with teeth will bite. Our children do, but we raise them to know that they shouldn't bite. Why shouldn't we raise our dogs the same? Teach them better, they will be better.

I'm asking for those who know and write to write about this. If you own pits and know they aren't what the media makes them, write about it. If you are afraid of them because of what you've seen, please read with an open heart. If you're one of those that perpetrate this awful outlook on pit bulls, consider what you're doing. You're making them monsters... and they're just dogs. We're responsible for our children.. and for our dogs. Teach them better, and let them be pets.

We raise our kids... and we raise our dogs. Think about it.

~Effie

Friday, October 29, 2010

And soon it shall pass...

So, it is time for my return to the woefully neglected world of Little Bits and Pieces. Soon enough, regular postings shall happen. Sporadic silliness, constant craziness and the unfailing barrage of foul language that is... well, me.

I know y'all have missed me. Admit it.

So, what has Miss Effie been up to? Stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Some hard, some painful, some enraging. Some I'd just rather not talk about. It might not be behind me, but I have a little breathing room.

I hate some damn drama, you know that? Drama pisses me slap the fuck off and I just want to throttle someone. I am not, by nature, an extremely violent person, but drama makes me very, very violent - in feeling even if not in practice.

My life, over the last several months, has been constant drama. And no, I have not killed anyone yet. Aren't you proud of me? I feel positively smug, my friends, smug indeed.

So, it is nice to return to the old blog and get it going again. I have missed blogging my little bits of insanity and pieces of me. I have missed abusing you all.

As you were.

Peace & Love
~Effie

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Strange Men in Pinstriped Suits Blog Award



So, my blog has been deemed strange enough for a pinstriped suit award by the wonderfully odd K.M. McElhinny (clickable).

The Rules!

1. Add the logo of the award to your blog post.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you (the strange ones will come after you if you don't...well, not really, but it sounds good).

3. Nominate seven other blogs telling us why you think the recipient is strange enough to deserve the award.

4. Leave a message for those nominated on their blogs.

5. And, if you email catephoenix(at)gmail(dot)com and tell her you've received the award for your strangeness, she'll enter you in the biggest kick-ass Strange Men competition ever. Details over at strangemeninpinstripesuits.com (click on the award link on the home page)

Firstly, my nominees:

1) Miss Alexia for her delicious blog, My Muse is a Zombie.

2) Miss Damien Grintalis for her blog, Damien Walters Grintalis.

3) Next is Miss Stacy Graham for her blog, Betwixt and Between.

4) Has to be Mr. K. Allen Wood. They just don't make them stranger than the guy behind The Eyesore Times.

5) I love this strange little undead doggie over at What do you mean I should start a blog?

6) Adam Slade is a great writer and just strange enough over at his Editing Hat.

7) And last but not least, Matt over at Pensive Sarcasm is just great.

And that's that. Check out these excellent blogs and congratulations to everyone. I love reading your posts, so keep posting!

P&L
~E

New poem up at Every Day Poets

Hello there! I have a poem up at Every Day Poets called "What Round the Corner Waits" (clickable). If you have a moment, give it a look-see. And please, leave a comment there on EDP or here. I'd love to hear from you.

Peace & Love,
~Effie

Monday, July 19, 2010

Summer

So, I hate summer time. I know it sounds awful, but I do. It's so damned hot. Give me spring or fall, but keep your fucking summer. I don't want it.

I find myself very irritable lately, and with that comes this feel of dripping, nasty sarcasm in my writings. I don't like the tone, so I'm not getting very much done, production wise. Not many words get kept. I can't even manage to keep that tone out of a shared project between me and another writer. And it is completely unsuited for that particular work. So, little worth keeping in the last two - four weeks.

So, why am I irritable? I dunno. Worries, commitments [familial and otherwise], stress. It's nothing out of the norm. If you've followed my blog for a while, you might remember me talking about the long silences.

This is the long silence.

I've written only two or three new stories since The beginning of July, which isn't a lot for me. I'm usually more prolific. I've gotten some work done on the "Sister" project, but that's slow moving. Rewrites are, from what I hear.

Mostly though, it's my kids. It's not that they're bad kids, because they aren't. They're just normal kids. But they're home all the time and that means distractions. Distractions and writing don't mix well.

Especially those distractions that come in the form of: "Mom! Come and look, it's so frigging cool. I just chopped a snake in half and it's still trying to bite me! And there are baby ones crawling out of the bottom half. Bro, grab that shovel and kill those little fuc... uhh... I mean... boogers."

Oh yes, that happened.

Now, I'm a country kinda chick and have no problems with snakes if they are minding their own business. But my children and snakes that are still trying to bite? Oh but no. Nope, no way, not happening. I live 30 minutes from the nearest hospital. I'd have a dead kid if one of them got bitten by something like a copper head or a cotton mouth moccasin.

Anyhow, summer is moving along and trying to work itself to fall. I'll be ready for the cooler temperatures, and my kids are already ready to go back to school (although they would never admit it). They miss their friends that they don't get to see and what not.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Black Rainbow Finale

The final part of Black Rainbow is up at The Piker Press. Have a read.

Black Rainbow Finale (clickable)

Enjoy.

Peace & Love,
~Effie

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

10 Things Every Writer Should Know....

10 things every writer should know before they start writing.

1) Basic plot. You need a beginning, a middle and an end. And basically, that is all you need to have. You can fill in the gaps later. Right now, there are more important things than plot to worry about.

2) Characters. I don't mean knowing the names, ages and what they look like. You gotta know how old your female MC was when she got her period, or how old your male MC was when he got his first stiffy. You need to know their grandmother's mother's maiden name. You gotta know how often they have sex. You gotta know if their mother has a skin condition of unknown origin, and if she does... exactly why is the origin of that skin condition unknown? These aren't just dolls! They are fucking people. If you're gonna pen down their story, you better know them better than their mothers do.

3) Genre. I know, I know. But you don't want to start a story as a romance, venture into erotica, then become a suspense/thriller, then sci-fi before finally settling into horror... just before it turns into a western, complete with "Well howdy there partner." Know what you're writing, please.

4) Setting. A story has to have a place to happen. Sure, the characters can travel, if need be, but they need a definite, central place for the story to focus on. Having fifty different places in one story makes for hectic reading.

5) Timeline. Some stories span hours, some days, some months and some even span lifetimes. You got to know how long this shit is gonna take so you can write accordingly.

6) Conflict. Gotta know who or what your characters are up against. There must be conflict, be it internal or external. Know the conflict. Make it fucking impossible to overcome. Then... have your characters overcome it anyway. "Protags must protag... and antags must antag." (Cathyfreeze said that on Absolute Write Water Cooler forums oh so long ago.)

7) Who is gonna win. Bad guy? Good guy? You decide, but you had better make sure that decision means something and isn't just because that is how you want it. No: it doesn't matter if it makes no sense in the story if all the other people die, I just want this one little girl to live, alone in the world with nothing but chain grocery store leavings to feed her for as long as her lonely lifespan lasts, which if I had my way would be forever and ever and ever and... shut up. Make your decisions count. Don't just do some stupid shit cause you want to. The story isn't really yours. You may create it, but it isn't your story. It is the story of the characters. Make sure it stays that way.

8) Will the winner of said conflict come away basically the same? If so... stop. Rethink. This is not so the character just goes on about his merry way like he or she never even went to Duggard Academy and got ass-raped by a baboon. It doesn't work that way. This shit changes people when it happens to them in real life and so, it must change your characters. They are, after all, people too.

9) How will this conflict change the world for your characters? This is not the change within the characters themselves, as is listed in #8 of this post. This is how things around them change. Do others feel the change this subtle conflict resolution has brought? If not, why not? If so... how... and why?

10) This is the absolute most important thing any writer should know before they start. Writing is fun. Writing is therapeutic. Writing is a great way to kill off a certain someone time and time again... all while being perfectly legal for you to do so because it is fiction and has no affect on the person in reality. They needn't even know you've killed them (or how often). If you aren't having fun, you aren't doing it right.

Monday, June 28, 2010